Scottish Child Abuse Inquiry
Witness Statement of
Support person present: Yes, daughter
1.
My name is My date
of
birth is 1953. My contact details
are known to the Inquiry.
Life before going into care
2.
I was brought up with my siblings and
We
stayed with my
parents
in
Paisley
in
a ground floor maisonette. My older
sister was brought up by my grandmother.
3.
Our house had three bedrooms, mum and dad had the first room, and I shared
a room and my older brothers the third room.
4.
My father worked as a foundry worker and my mother was a conductress on the
local buses. When I was about five years old my parents split
up.
My mother moved
to England and left us
in
the care
of
my father.
5.
My father could not cope with looking after us and for a while my aunt and my
uncle moved into the house to help out. This lasted for a short period until
aunt became ill and then a friend of our family, attempted to carry out this
role, again without success.
6.
I attended St Anne's Infant School and did not settle and sometimes I would fall
asleep
in
the class. I believe a neighbour upstairs heard my father getting more and
more angry with us as he was not coping or looking after us and along with the
problems at school, reported this to the Social Work Department.
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Smyllum Park, Lanark
7.
We were
in
our house around tea time, possibly during school holidays, when two
social workers arrived at the house. They told us my mother was not coming back
and we were being taken away to be looked after at a better place. They told us we
would be kept together at the new place. This was when I was about five years old. I
had already started
in
primary school and think it was during the holidays when we
were moved.
Routine at Smyllum Park
First day
8.
The social workers transported us to Smyllum Park
in
a small A40 white coloured
van.
We
thought it was going to be a new adventure and we still hoped we were
going to see our mother. The only clothes we had were the ones we were wearing.
9.
On
arrival I saw this massive building and was a bit scared. As soon as we were
handed over to the nuns, the social workers left and we never saw them or any
of
their colleagues again.
10.
Against what we were told by the social workers about keeping us together, I was
separated from my brothers right away. The boys were taken away by one nun and I
was taken away by Sister
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. I was taken to the bathrooms and she forcibly took the clothes off me. She then
made sure I was put
in
a hot bath, washed. I was scrubbed really hard with the
carbolic soap. She cut my finger and toe nails and then cut my hair short.
12.
When she took me to the dormitory she told me to forget about my brothers because
I wouldn't be seeing them while I was at Smyllum. The more I asked about my
brothers the more she got angry.
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13. Sister took me to the dining hall and put a plate
in
front
of
me. It was the
first time I saw spaghetti. I had never eaten this before and thought it was worms.
She told me I was to eat it but I refused. She forced a large spoon into my mouth for
me to eat. I was still trying to refuse and she grabbed me by the arm and forced the
spoon into my mouth. I was retching so much she eventually gave up. She was
slapping me
on
each arm to try and make me eat
it.
14. There were between twelve and sixteen beds in the dormitory and Sister
slept in the room situated near the door.
15. The girls were all in their beds when I got to the dormitory. They were still awake at
this time but speaking. I was made to lie with my hands clasped to the side
of
my
head or to lie
on
my back with my hands crossed across my chest. If Sister
found anyone sleeping in a different position she would hit you, until you learned to
do as you were told.
16.
I later learned some
of
the girls managed to avoid punishments from Sister
as she liked some
of
them. They would be allowed to grow their hair long and were
never punished as we were.
17. The first night when Sister went to her room I got out
of
the bed to look out
of
the window. I was trying to see if I could see my brothers. The other girls were
telling me to go back to bed as Sister they told me I would be murdered
if
I
was caught. They were really anxious for me.
18.
As I looked out the window I saw a man with a cart. As he emerged from the cart I
saw this man carrying something into the field I could not see what he was carrying
but I think it was larger than a dog. Whatever he was carrying he dumped in the field.
I was always scared this was him dumping a body.
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Mornings and bedtime
19.
The next morning I woke to find for the first time
in
my life I had wet the bed. Sister
saw the mess and dragged me out
of
bed and made me take the sheets
with me. She made me stand still
in
front
of
everyone. I was taken to the bathroom
and told to wash the bed sheets
in
the small basin. Every time the water spilled out
of
the basin she hit me again.
20. Every morning we were woken about six o'clock.
We
got washed and were dressed
in our good clothes to attend church. After church it was back to the dormitory,
change into school clothes, which were more scruffy, and then down to the dining
room for breakfast. After playing
in
afternoon we went to the dining hall for tea and
were in bed for 7.30pm.
Food
21. The only thing I remember about food at Smyllum was you ate what you were given.
As
in
the first day
if
there was anything I did not like or not eaten before, I would try
and avoid
it.
Sister would use the spoon or a ladle and force feed me. She
was always
in
my vision and any time I caught her eye she took that as an excuse to
slap me and threaten to hit me
on
the knuckles with the ladle.
If
she could not hit you
on
the knuckles she would aim for your legs. Eventually I learned to eat the food
whether I liked it or not. It saved me from her abuse.
Bathing
22.
We
were given a bath once every two weeks. There were only a couple
of
baths and
we took turns to use
it.
The water was not changed. Sister would scrub us
with the carbolic soap and check our hair with a nit comb and cut our nails.
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23. These routines were drilled
in
to me for the first couple of months after arriving.
Everybody was aware
of
the routine but as I was the new girl I had to accept the
punishments.
School
24. Our school was within the grounds and the only kids that went there were the
residents. The older kids went to the school
in
the town.
25. When we finished school between 3.30pm and 4.00pm we went to church. After
church we were to play
in
the cobbled yard. The only thing was, there was nothing
there to play with apart from a broken roundabout.
26. At school there was a metal fence separating the boys from the girls. I used this time
to try and speak to my brothers. It was one of the few times we could speak together.
I would spend any free time I could to speak with them and I would even forego
using the bathroom.
27. During the day you were limited as to the number of occasions you could use the
toilet. Sister restricted your bathroom time to wakening up, prior to school,
lunchtime, tea time and before going to bed.
28. If you wanted to go outwith her restrictions she would make you stand and wait. All
the others were allowed to use the toilet before me. She warned me that if I was to
allow one drop of pee out she would hit me for my troubles. One time I missed going
to the bathroom so I could speak to my brothers and wet myself. Not only did Sister
hit me but I was given the strap at school by Siste the
headmistress.
29. There was never any happiness with the nuns and the only time we saw the priests
was when at church after school and
on
Saturdays and Sundays.
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30.
One day I managed to sneak out of the dormitory and heard noises coming from one
of the rooms. When I looked through the keyhole I saw many
of
the nuns and priests
within and they were
all
laughing and having fun.
31.
I never thought of nuns wearing items like brassieres. One day I approached Sister
to ask her
if
I could use the bathroom. I thought as I approached her she
was looking at a dirty book, but I later found out it was a catalogue. I asked her if I
could go to the bathroom and I was immediately struck by her. I
am
not sure if it was
just for asking or
if
it was because I startled her.
Holidays
32.
The only time I was allowed out was one day around Easter time. We wore pyjamas
and went on a parade through the town. I was around seven years old at the time.
Birthdays
and
Christmas
33.
At Christmas my great uncle gave us all presents. My brothers and I were
shown the presents
on
Christmas day and we were allowed to play with them for a
while that day. After
he
left the presents were removed and we never saw them
again.
34.
If any of the presents were dolls or similar we were told not to remove the clothes
from them and we had to ensure none
of
the presents were damaged
in
any way.
Visits!/ nspections
35.
There were no formal visits or inspections while I stayed at Smyllum. The only visit
was from great uncle He visited us about once a month and made lots
of
donations to the church. As a result they allowed him to visit us at the home. He was
also allowed to take us out of the church but not out of the grounds. The nuns still
put restrictions
on
us and we were not allowed to speak to Uncle about
anything at the home. He was to be kept
in
the dark about how we were treated.
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36.
On
one occasion he gave me a hat with porn porns. I used to swing them about as I
shook my head. When I came back from his visit Sister cut them off. At his
next visit uncle asked what happened to the hat. I couldn't tell him she cut
them off and just told him they must have fallen off.
37. Sometimes Uncle left money for us at the home. This meant we were able to
buy some sweeties
on
a Saturday. If he did not leave any money then there were no
treats.
38. At one point uncle wanted me to join the local Brownies and he persuaded the
nuns to allow me to go, but I only went once, twice at most. I was in the gnomes.
Sister was so scared I was going to tell someone
of
the abuse and how
unhappy we were at Smyllum. She eventually stopped me going. Although I stopped
attending Sister told me to pretend to Uncle that I was still going.
Healthcare
39. I did not have any health issues while I was at Smyllum. The only time I needed
anything was when I was stung by bees.
In
the cobbled play area there was always
bees and the other girls regularly got stung, but I managed to avoid them.
Chores
40.
We
had to scrub the floorboards
of
the dormitory and this would be done every
weekend.
We
were given polish to finish the floors. The cloths we used were all
hessian type.
We
were always getting splinters
on
our knees from the hessian. The
girls from the dormitory were allocated this
on
a rota basis. We were not allowed to
clean the dishes
in
the kitchen.That was a chore kept for older children. I was given
a treat once where I was allowed to shell the peas from the garden.
Abuse at Smyllum Park
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41. Sister would regularly grab me by the hair and drag me around the rooms.
Her usual method was to use the ladle and wooden spoons to grab us by the arms
and hit us over the knuckles, arms and legs.
42. The whole day from the moment you woke until the time you went to bed you were
disciplined. I felt like I was targeted by Sister the entire length of time I
stayed at Smyllum.
Leaving Smyllum Park
43. Around Christmas when I was about ten years old we were taken out of Smyllum
with various aunts and uncles and later gathered at my grandmother's house
in
Paisley. She told us my mother was
on
her way from her home
in
England and we
would be staying with her. She arrived at the house with a well-dressed man, but we
did not recognise her. We all boarded a coach and moved to England.
Reporting
of
abuse
at
Smyllum Park
44. We never had any visits at Smyllum from social workers or any other professionals
and had no opportunity to report anything to them. Even after I left Smyllum and to
this date I have not reported anything to the authorities.
Life after being
in
care
45. Life with my step father was not good. My mother had a boy with him. I stayed with
them
in
Salford until I was about seventeen. While I stayed with them I was made to
clean his many boarding houses and would have to baby sit for him. He would call
us his "Scottish heathens".
46. The priest from the catholic school I attended was always asking for money and
donations and as a result I was moved
on
to a different school. Initially I did well at
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school but I lost interest as I was treated different because of being Scottish. I left
school when I was about fourteen.
47. I had many jobs as I grew up and worked at making lamp shades and also for a van
hire company.
48. I got engaged when I was about sixteen and married my first husband at nineteen. I
married him as he was over six foot tall, a rugby player and did not drink or smoke
too much. I believed
if
I was with him I would be protected.
49. My marriage broke down when I was around twenty two. I previously suffered from
post natal depression after the birth of my first child. I left my eldest son with my
husband and his parents
50. I continued working
in
many places including the catering industry. During my spare
time I tried to see my son as much as possible. I could not build a relationship with
him because I was scared to love him. This was a result of how I was brought up
in
Smyllum, where I was scared to have a close or emotional contact with anyone.
51. I married again and had two children to my second husband. I was married this time
for around nine years before I left him and moved back to Scotland.
52.
In
Scotland I met and married my daughter's father. He was always telling
me how long he knew me from my previous life
in
Scotland, but I never recognised
him as he was involved
in
an
accident and he looked much older than I would have
expected for someone around my age
..
53.
Around 1976/1977 I was admitted for depression to the hospital
in
Prestwich then
Birchall, Rochdale after I lost a child. Part of the treatment involved receiving electric
shock therapy. After being released from hospital my son was born
in
1979.
Only then did I really start having a better relationship with my children.
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54. I stopped being angry with everything and was determined to look after my children
and make sure none
of
them ended up
in
care. Unfortunately through circumstances
out with
my
control I could not stop my grandchildren going into care.
55. I get on well with my brothers and My brother died through drink,
which I believe was brought
on
from his experiences in Smyllum.
Impact
56. The manner I slept
in
as a child led me to being almost paralysed when I slept. I
would lie
in
bed aware
of
what was happening around me but unable to move. I am
not able to breathe properly until I am stirred by someone. Only then do I become
fully awake.
57. My mum used to put a glass bottle on the bed and told me to kick it off the bed and
she would come to my room. The only problem was I could not move my feet. This
all started when I was
in
the home and continued into my adult life. It was diagnosed
by my family doctor soon after the birth of
my
first child.
58. My life
in
Smyllum affected how I related to people. I never discussed my life there
with anyone because I did not want them to know what I went through. I was always
looking for someone to look after me and protect me. It never bothered me at the
places I worked because I never had to tell them anything about my previous life.
Records
59. I have never looked for my records relating to
my
time
in
Smyllum and I am unsure if
this would help me.
Other information
60. I have no objection to my witness statement being published as part of the evidence
to the Inquiry. I believe the facts stated
in
this witness statement are true.
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Signed
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Dated
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