Asylum – Sample Declaration - DV
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ASYLUM DECLARATION OF [NAME]
A# XXX-XXX--XXX
I, [full name], hereby state under penalty of perjury that the following statements are true and
accurate to the best of my knowledge and belief, and that I incorporate the following statements
into my application for asylum (Form I-589).
Summary:
I, [full name], was born in XXX on [date of birth]. I come from the XXX tribe who are said
to be hard working and wise. Because of this reputation, members of other tribes tend to be
more suspicious of XXXs. I myself experienced problems with my HUSBAND’s family and
eventually my HUSBAND because of my tribal background and status as his wife. In XXX
women are treated as second class citizens and are considered to be inferior to men. They are
expected to entirely depend upon men. Once a woman is married she is supposed to do
anything that her HUSBAND asks her to do even if it is not in her best interests. To do
otherwise, is considered rebellious and is not tolerated by society. If a woman is unable to
give birth to a male child she is considered to be a stranger who has come to visit the family
but now must leave. Because I am an independent XXX woman who never gave birth to
sons, I experienced years of abuse and a near miscarriage at the hands of my HUSBAND.
Because of his constant threats I was forced to flee XXX and continue to fear return.
Full Declaration:
1. I was born in XXX into a Christian family and have always practiced the religion. The
treatment of Christians varies greatly across XXX. Christians in the North are persecuted by
Muslims and frequently killed. However in the South, where I come from, there is a larger
Christian population and thus less religious persecution than in the North.
2. I was raised primarily by my mother, [name], because my father died a sudden and
mysterious death when I was only two years old. At the time of my father’s death, my mother
was his second wife. His first wife and her children took all of my father’s inheritance. While
I was too young to understand what was going on at the time, my mother later told me about
all the horrible things the community did to her upon my father’s death. According to my
mother, the community forced her to drink the water in which my dead father was bathed.
They also shaved her head and prohibited her from speaking to anyone else in the
community. After the burial, my mother took my two older sisters, my younger brother and
me to her parent’s home in the village of XXX We remained under the care of my maternal
grandparents while my mother went to work as a XXX in order to support us.
3. Supporting four children on her own was a constant struggle for my mother. She always told
us that she suffered in order to provide us with the opportunity to get a good education.
Despite the general sentiment that school was not a place for women, my mother stressed that
all her children including her daughters should study as much as possible so that we could
obtain good jobs and be independent.
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4. In XXX culture, a woman’s role is in the home. Most men forbid their wives from working
and discourage their daughters from attending school because they want women to depend
upon men for their livelihood. I think they do this in order to maintain control over their
wives and daughters. This is exactly what happened to my mother when she married my
father and he forced her to give up her studies. After his death, my mother found herself
stranded and had to scramble to obtain a degree so that she could find a job to support our
family. Understanding my mother’s struggles inspired me to pursue higher education and
gain my own economic independence.
5. Upon completion of secondary school, I moved to XXX to attend College. I completed
College and obtained a job in a finance company before returning to my Post-Graduate
studies some five years later. I hold a Bachelor of Science degree in XX, a Masters of
Science in XX, and a Masters in Business Administration in XX. Upon completion of my
post-graduate studies I began work as a senior banking executive in one of the oldest banks
in XXX. From there my career advanced and I worked at a second tier bank for two years
before I met my HUSBAND , [NAME], in 2002 while staying with one of my church
pastors, XXX.
Meeting & Marrying HUSBAND
6. HUSBAND replaced my choir leader at the XXX Fellowship International, a Christian
Fellowship that I attended. The Fellowship brought individuals from many Christian
churches in the area together to worship. At the time, HUSBAND was also an in-ordained
pastor of the XXX International Church in XXX. My friendship with HUSBAND grew until
September 2004, when he asked me to marry him. When he proposed to me, HUSBAND
explained that he had been praying to God for a wife for some time, and that he was finally
convinced that he should marry me even though doing so required that he disobey his
family’s wishes.
7. According to HUSBAND, his family discouraged him from marrying me because they
believed that as an Ibo woman with a well-paid job, I would be too hard to control.
HUSBAND’s family is from XXX state and speaks a different language than Ibo. His family,
like most XXX believed that men should be the head of a household and control all the
money and important decisions. Consequently, HUSBAND’s family had already selected
another woman from his tribe for him to marry and they were not pleased with his decision to
marry a woman from the XX tribe. The family’s distaste for me was so great that even
HUSBAND’s eldest sister living in the U.S. called HUSBAND in an attempt to convince him
not to carry out his plans to marry me.
8. Our wedding was delayed for several months because HUSBAND took some time to try to
convince his family to accept his marriage to me. Despite his efforts, HUSBAND’s mother
refused to attend the traditional meeting where his family delivered the dowry to my family.
This was extremely insulting to me and my family. Despite this, I went forward with my
plans to marry HUSBAND because I genuinely believed that God had picked HUSBAND as
a HUSBAND for me. I felt that no matter what obstacles came my way during our wedding
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preparations, I had an obligation to carry out God’s will by marrying the man that he sent to
me.
9. During our pre-marriage counseling sessions with the church, HUSBAND was advised by
the Church to find alternative accommodations for his step-brother, step-sister, and uncle
who were all living in his apartment at the time. According to our religious practices, a man
is expected to provide a home for his new bride in which none of his extended family
members reside. This is thought to give the couple time to adjust to married life without
undue influence from the family. However, in our case HUSBAND was afraid that if he
asked his relatives to move out, they would blame me for having ousted them from their
homes. Instead, HUSBAND pleaded with me to allow his family to remain in his apartment
after our marriage and promised that it would only be for a short time. His step-sister and
brother were to move away to attend college and his uncle was going to move into an
apartment provided to him by his employer. HUSBAND also promised that all three of them
would share one of the three bedrooms in the apartment so that I could have my own room in
which to keep my things. Thinking that this was only going to be a short-term situation, I
agreed.
10. I married HUSBAND in the XXXX and began staying in HUSBAND’s apartment shortly
thereafter. Unfortunately, his relatives never moved their things into one room so I had
nowhere to put my stuff. Every day after work, I went to my own apartment to pick up
clothes for the next day. When this situation became unbearable for me I rented a larger four-
bedroom apartment. My hope was that HUSBAND would leave his family in his apartment
and move into the larger apartment with me but HUSBAND brought his relatives to live with
us in our new apartment. When I confronted HUSBAND about this he said something like,
“Why would I live in a big apartment and allow my people to stay somewhere else? You
don’t like my people? They said this is what XXX do –they want to be in charge and they
don’t want anybody else around.” For the sanctity of my marriage I let it go and allowed his
family to live with us.
Verbal & Physical Abuse by HUSBAND’s Family
11. Living with HUSBAND’s siblings was like living in hell. They constantly called me terrible
names like “useless woman” and “good for nothing XXX.” They were completely
disrespectful and constantly challenged my position in the house. Even though I paid for the
rent and all of the food, they tried to make me feel as though I was just a visitor in their
home. They also said things like “you may have a good bank job but you don’t control our
brother, he is still the man of the house!” HUSBAND’s step-sister X regularly said things
that insinuated that I was less of a woman. If I reacted, she would threaten to physically fight
with me. To show me that she was ready at any moment to fight me she’d wear shorts (a
woman would never fight in a skirt or dress) after we had an argument. Whenever I
complained to my HUSBAND about his siblings’ treatment he took their side and either
didn’t believe me or told me that it was my fault for not showing them that I loved them.
12. OnXXX, I came home from work to find that someone had eaten my favorite bread (an
imported baguette that I had asked everyone not to touch). When I saw X in the kitchen I
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asked her who ate the bread. Y, HUSBAND’s step-brother, came out of the bedroom and
pounded on his chest saying that he ate the bread because his brother bought it. Then he
sarcastically said something like “you are a wealthy woman why don’t you just go buy more
bread.” Upset by this, I went and woke my HUSBAND who was sleeping in the bedroom
and asked him to come hear what his step-brother was saying to me. When HUSBAND
asked Y what was happening, Y called him a “woman wrapper”
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and said something like,
“ever since you married this good for nothing woman, you have changed.” Angered by the
insult, HUSBAND slapped Y and they started to fight. At some point during the brawl, Y left
HUSBAND, and punched me in the chest with a closed fist. At the time, I was one month
pregnant. Fearing that Y would harm the baby I left and went into our bedroom where I wept.
Shortly after that incident Y left to attend school but my problems with the family didn’t end
there because soon thereafter, we started receiving very angry telephone calls from
HUSBAND’s relatives. Apparently Y told the family that I had kicked him out of the house.
I listened while HUSBAND tried to defend me to his family and worried that eventually all
their pressure would take its toll on HUSBAND.
13. OnXXX, I gave birth to our first child, [CHILD1] via cesarean section due to complications.
After spending seven days in the hospital, I returned home. HUSBAND’s uncle, who was the
elder of our home, never came to see me in the hospital or congratulate me on our daughter’s
birth. In fact, he moved out of our apartment shortly after CHILD1’s birth and I never heard
from him again. This was very insulting to me.
14. When the wife of another of HUSBAND’s uncles visited me, she mentioned that she was
relieved to see that HUSBAND’s sister’s allegations were not true. Apparently,
HUSBAND’s sister had been saying things to the family about me like “oh this XXX girl is
so wise, don’t you know she’s had abortions so her womb can’t conceive.” Those words
wounded me deeply, because my faith doesn’t permit abortions. Additionally, several
members of HUSBAND’s family made derogatory comments about me for my failure to
give birth to a son. They said things like “we want a boy. We don’t want a girl! You better
have a boy so that you can have a place in the family!”
15. In October XXX, my HUSBAND asked X to help cook because I was still recovering from
my surgery. She refused and told him that he should stand up to his wife and demand that she
complete her household duties. Angered by her words, HUSBAND beat X and she moved
out of the house shortly thereafter. HUSBAND’s violent behavior was very worrisome to me.
I knew that he had a bad temper but I’d never seen him act violently before this incident.
Before leaving us, X threatened to return home and tell everyone that she was forced to leave
because of me. Again, we received calls from HUSBAND’s family and again HUSBAND
tried to explain that I was not the cause of X’s departure but little by little, HUSBAND
started to change. I think the pressures from his family became too great and he too started to
see me as a threat to his manhood.
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In XXX, the women wear large pieces of fabric called “wrappers”. The term “woman wrapper” is used
as an insult against men who are seen as falling under the control of a woman.
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The Beginnings of HUSBAND’s Abuse
16. In December XX, I was hired by a new bank to work in the XXX. By that time, I had built
up such a reputation for success that I was given an unusual offer for a person in my position,
a mortgage, in order to entice me to accept the job. I used the mortgage to buy a six bedroom
home in XXX. We moved into the home in October. When HUSBAND invited his family to
come see our new home, they asked how he was able to afford such a beautiful house on his
meager salary as an accountant in a small firm. When he told them that I purchased the home
with my mortgage they started to give him a lot grief. HUSBAND’s family said things like,
“XXX woman has fooled you!” and pressured him to put the home in his own name.
According to HUSBAND’s family, as the man of the house, the title needed to be in
HUSBAND’s name alone. This is when HUSBAND really started to change. He demanded
that I put the title of my house in his name and threatened to divorce me if I didn’t. Divorce
in our community would have brought a lot of shame upon me. Traditionally, failure of a
marriage is considered failure of the wife alone. I wanted to avoid divorce but I hadn’t even
finished paying the mortgage at the time so there was no way that I could have re-titled the
house into HUSBAND’s name. I tried to explain this to HUSBAND but he had already
turned into a different person and wouldn’t listen to me.
17. In October XX, I hired a new maid named D to clean the house. HUSBAND started telling D
not to clean anything. Prior to this time, I had paid other maids to clean our homes and shop
for our groceries. HUSBAND never seemed to mind much but once I bought the house,
HUSBAND started telling me that it was my job as his wife to do all those things. Sensing
that we were experiencing marital problems, D started to take advantage of our situation. For
example, she started asking my HUSBAND for money to have her hair braided. Even though
HUSBAND refused to contribute to her salary and other household expenses, he gave D
money out of his pocket to buy nice things for her. This made me extremely uncomfortable
so I fired D in XXX
HUSBAND’s Escalating Verbal Abuse & his Sister’s Visit
18. In XXX, HUSBAND’s sister, N, and her HUSBAND came unannounced to visit us from the
U.S. and immediately took control over our home. For example, XX brought X back into our
house. XX also said things to me like “I’ve come to fight you in my brother’s house” and that
I didn’t deserve to live there anymore. I was already eight months pregnant with my second
child at this point and I wasn’t willing to fight with HUSBAND’s family any longer. I simply
went to work in the morning and came home to sleep at night. I tried my best to stay away
from HUSBAND’s relatives in order to avoid any conflict.
HUSBAND’s Physical Abuse Begins
19. During his sister’s visit, HUSBAND started to change even more. It was as if he finally
succumbed to all the pressures from his family. He started insulting me and verbally abusing
me. He said things like “my mother said I shouldn’t marry you and I did you a favor by
marrying you.”
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20. In December, after XX left, HUSBAND’s uncle, UU came to visit unannounced with his
wife and daughter. During their approximately two-week long stay with us, UU insulted my
HUSBAND by saying things like HUSBAND had no control over me. For example, UU said
that I should heed all of my HUSBAND’s commands and skip work in order to prepare
breakfast for him. Empowered by his family’s suggestions HUSBAND started ordering me
to stay home from work. One day in XXX, HUSBAND hid my car keys from me so that I
couldn’t drive to work. When we started arguing about the keys, HUSBAND slapped me
across the face so hard that it left finger marks. I grabbed something nearby to protect myself
(I can’t remember now if it was a shoe or some other hard object) and told him that I would
use it against him to defend myself if necessary. Then I called a member of our church who
had been providing marriage counseling to us who spoke to HUSBAND over the telephone
and convinced him to return my car keys so that I could leave for work.
21. Around this same time HUSBAND started saying things to me like “you are a worthless
woman; you won’t respect your HUSBAND because you have a job.” He resented me for all
of my success in the workplace because it meant I did not depend on him. HUSBAND and
his family were fiercely opposed to the idea of an independent woman and did their best to
try to make me feel awful about my independence.
HUSBAND’s Beating with an Electrical Cord
22. Shortly after I gave birth to our second child, a girl we named CHILD2, in XXX,
HUSBAND started to physically abuse me on a regular basis. In XXX, HUSBAND’s sister
X who had continued to live with us even after N left, started to tell my housemaids not to
follow any of my instructions. For example, one day I asked a housemaid named XXX to
wash the childrens’ clothes and then went upstairs. When I came back downstairs I noticed
that XXX had not touched the dirty laundry. I went to look for XXX and found her watching
television with X in Child’s room. When I asked Housemaid to complete her task she refused
so I asked her to leave. When my HUSBAND returned home from work later that day, X told
him that I had sent the housemaid away. I have no idea what story she told him, all I know is
that by the time he entered our bedroom where I was sleeping with our two young daughters,
he was furious.
23. HUSBAND dragged me out of the bed while screaming “why did you send XXX away from
the house?” As I explained what happened he began poking me with his finger until finally
he pushed me to the floor. When I grabbed him to brace my fall, HUSBAND fell atop me.
Then he held me to the ground as he beat me with an electrical cord that he pulled out of the
wall. HUSBAND lashed me across the chin leaving a gash in my lower lip. I started
screaming from the pain which awoke my mother who was asleep in the next room. She had
come to stay with us to help me care for our newborn child. My mother pulled HUSBAND
off of me while asking why on earth he would want to kill me. HUSBAND verbally insulted
my mother who returned to her room in tears, packed her things, and left our home. After that
time my mother never returned to visit us. The entire experience was terrifying and horribly
embarrassing for me. To this day, I have a scar on my lip from the lashing because I never
went to the hospital to get stitches. Instead, I called two of HUSBAND’s Pastor friends in the
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church and told them what HUSBAND had done to me. Because it was so late at night they
said they would stop by in the morning to check up on me.
24. The next morning around 8:30 or 9:00a.m. Pastor B and his wife and Pastor A came to visit
me. After I explained what had happened, Pastor B said something like “you are not the first
woman to be beaten by her HUSBAND why are you making such a big deal of this?”
Shocked by his response, I almost stopped attending the church altogether. I couldn’t believe
that the Pastor himself would encourage my HUSBAND’s mistreatment of me.
25. Two days later, my maid told me that we ran out of diapers. HUSBAND and I were still not
speaking at the time so I told her to ask him for the money to buy more diapers. Even though
I had the money to purchase them myself, I was fed up with HUSBAND’s treatment and
thought that if he wanted to be the “man of our family” then he should be a man in every
aspect and take responsibility for our child’s needs as well. She did so when HUSBAND
returned home that night from work. From our bedroom where I was breastfeeding the baby
at the time, I could hear HUSBAND yelling downstairs so I locked all the doors into the
room. Then I listened as HUSBAND tried to open both doors into the room and finally
kicked one in. HUSBAND lunged at me, slapping me across the face and almost knocking
our infant from my arms. As I bent over to lay the baby onto the bed, HUSBAND punched
me all over with closed fists. As he hit me he called me a “foolish woman” and “useless
woman” and told me that he would teach me a lesson for not obeying him. He demanded to
know where the key for the adjoining room where we usually kept the diapers was. Impatient
with me, he kicked in that door as well, entered the room and started searching for diapers.
When he found one, he took it downstairs to the maid and I didn’t hear from him again that
night. I assume he must have slept downstairs. I had bruises from his blows for about a week
after the incident. This time however I didn’t bother reporting his abuse to the church
because I remembered how Pastor B had reacted. Even though my HUSBAND’s attacks
upset me greatly I tried my hardest to put them behind me and move on. We continued with
our marriage counseling. The counselors always told me to pray for my HUSBAND and
show him more love so that my love might change him. On some level I believed what they
said and truly hoped that my love could hold our marriage together.
My Attempts to take a Family Vacation
26. Once my second child CHILD2 was old enough to travel, I decided that we should take a
family trip to the United States. Hopeful that travel might bring HUSBAND and me closer
together, I was very excited about the trip and started making arrangements for our travel
visas. Every time I asked HUSBAND for his passport however, he just kept saying that he’d
give it to me the next day but never did. I later learned that HUSBAND’s family told him not
to give me the passport because if he got a visa it would signify to others that he was only
able to get a visa because of his wife. That would have been humiliating to HUSBAND as a
man and so he refused to take part in our family vacation.
My Grandfather’s Funeral & Public Humiliation Coupled with a Private Beating
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27. In XXX, my grandfather who had raised me as his own child died. Traditionally, both sides
of the family attend a burial ceremony and the in-laws typically present something alongside
the daughter of the deceased. When the master of the ceremony called out “now can we have
[CLIENT’S NAME] and her HUSBAND’s family present,” there were no relatives to
accompany me because none of HUSBAND’s family attended the funeral despite the fact
that they knew that I loved my grandfather as a father.
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Their public display of disregard for
my feelings made me feel totally unaccepted by my in-laws and was an utter embarrassment
to me. During the ceremony my HUSBAND, X and I got into an argument about X’s
interference with our maid. This too embarrassed me greatly.
28. After the ceremony X, our two daughters, my HUSBAND and I returned to our hotel. When
we got to the hotel room my HUSBAND started asking me things like “what gives you the
right to try to argue with me in public?” He started saying things like I had not been trained
correctly and asking how could I not respect him as my HUSBAND? Then he said something
like “do you think you are King? Are you a Princess?” and started pointing furiously at my
face. As he lodged his accusations at me, he actually struck my eye with his finger. When I
tried to point back at him, he grabbed my wrist and twisted my arm backwards. I started to
scream from the pain. I struggled to get free and grabbed him around the waist as he punched
me all over my backside with closed fists. Finally, he pushed me away, stormed out of the
room, and checked into another room for the night.
29. After the incident I could not bring myself to be intimate with HUSBAND again. He treated
me like a piece of furniture that was of very little value. He saw me as something that he
could use when he wanted to and then simply push me aside when he was done. Shortly after
our return from the funeral I went to England on a business trip for 10 days. I was very happy
to be away from HUSBAND and could not wait to leave on vacation to the U.S.
Vacation in the U.S.
30. In XXX, I purchased tickets for me and my two daughters to fly to the U.S. HUSBAND
demanded that we stay with his sister N who had treated me so badly while visiting our
home. I refused and HUSBAND took our passports. Then I called our pastor, Mrs. A who
came to our home to counsel us. After she tried to get the travel documents back from
HUSBAND to no avail, she encouraged me to stay with HUSBAND’s sister for the sake of
peace in our marriage. Reluctantly I agreed to HUSBAND’s demands.
31. On XX, my two daughters and I entered the U.S. in XXX on tourist visas and went to stay
with HUSBAND’s sister Nse, in her home in XXX. At the time I had no intentions of staying
in the U.S. or leaving my HUSBAND. One day, N made a point to tell her HUSBAND about
HUSBAND’s latest update in front of me. She said that HUSBAND had called to tell her that
their nephew S had found a job in XXX and that HUSBAND had invited XXX to move into
his house. Silently, I became very upset because HUSBAND’s house was our house and my
2
X who was in her twenties at the time attended the funeral with us. At the time, she was living with us
and HUSBAND ordered her to come so that she could help take care of the children while I was busy
with the funeral activities.
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HUSBAND never consulted me about this. Despite this incident, I was hopeful that upon
return, the Church’s counseling sessions would convince HUSBAND to be kinder to me in
order to reconcile our marriage. Divorce is not an option in our culture and it wasn’t until
much later that I even considered such drastic actions.
The Rapes Begin
32. When we returned to XXX, things only got worse. HUSBAND continued to treat me like his
property and at the same time like something that was so worthless to him that he could
easily discard it. Fed up with his treatment, I no longer wanted to have sex with him. The
next time HUSBAND tried to be intimate with me I refused to have sex. He would not listen
and instead forced himself upon me. During our next marriage counseling session I
mentioned the rape and our marriage counselors told me that the bible instructed me not to
refuse sex to my HUSBAND. They said that as a Christian woman, I had to always say yes to
my HUSBAND no matter what the circumstances were. I believed them because they were
my religious compass and as a good Christian I wanted to comply even though I personally
had no interest in sexual relations with HUSBAND after all that he’d done to me.
33. Our relationship deteriorated so much that Pastor P and his wife started counseling us in our
home frequently on top of our regular marriage counseling sessions at the church that we
attended on Sundays. HUSBAND never cooperated with our marriage counselors. It got so
bad that sometimes, when Pastor P and his wife were at our home, HUSBAND would slap
me across the face in front of them. One time HUSBAND shouted at the Pastor and his wife
saying “leave me alone. If I had a gun I would kill her” pointing at me, and then he said
“nothing will happen to me!” The couple had to regularly pull HUSBAND off of me and
then lock me in another room in order to stop him from physically harming me. Sometimes
they even counseled us so late into the night that they just slept in our home because it was
too late for them to try to return to their own home. At times they advised me to leave the
house for my safety until the evil spirits that they believed were possessing HUSBAND had
left him. They meant only temporary breaks or short vacations because it would not have
been culturally acceptable for me to just leave my HUSBAND.
34. In XXX, HUSBAND raped me and I discovered that I was pregnant in XXX. I didn’t feel
ready to have the child and I confided in a friend, C, who suggested that I should abort the
child and that God might understand given the circumstances. When I brought this up with
our marriage counselors from church, they told me that abortion was not an option because
God could never forgive me. I continued with the pregnancy and HUSBAND told our
marriage counselors that he didn’t think that he was the father of the baby. This was terribly
humiliating for me. It implied that I was a prostitute or had committed adultery. Thankfully
the church counselors told HUSBAND that he should not say things like this because
everyone in the church would ostracize me if they believed him. Fortunately people at our
church did not believe him.
My Near Miscarriage due to HUSBAND’s Abuse
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35. In the end of XXX, I discovered that HUSBAND had stolen all my important documents
including our travel documents and the title to our house. I confronted HUSBAND at about
11:00pm that evening and asked him for the documents. He said he didn’t have them. When
we started arguing about this he slapped me across the face with an open hand and I tried to
defend myself but could not because HUSBAND continued to beat me with his closed fists.
He beat me until I was bloody and fell to the floor. Terrified that I was losing the baby I
begged HUSBAND to take me to the hospital but he refused saying something like “no you
will die here! No one will take you to the hospital!” HUSBAND’s nephew Steve was
downstairs and heard my screams. Steve begged HUSBAND to take me to the hospital but
HUSBAND again refused. I called the Chairman of the Marriage Committee,
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Pastor A, and
told him what happened and pleaded with him to have HUSBAND take me to the hospital.
HUSBAND refused to listen to the Pastor. Eventually Pastor A, called Pastor A2, who was
able to convince HUSBAND to take me to the hospital.
36. At the hospital, they said that I was in danger of having a miscarriage so they ran some scans
to make sure the baby was still alive. Over the next 5 days, I was hospitalized and given
various injections in the hopes that they would save the baby’s life. HUSBAND left me alone
in the hospital and only came upon request by the doctor to sign documents. Our family
doctor was an acquaintance of HUSBAND’s so I never told him or the other hospital staff
about HUSBAND’s abuse. I was also ashamed of how my HUSBAND had treated me. In
XXX culture, women don’t speak of marital abuse to strangers and I wasn’t about to tell the
hospital staff about our problems. Therefore, the doctors kept calling HUSBAND and telling
him about my recovery as if he cared to know. To me however it was obvious that
HUSBAND couldn’t have cared less about me and our baby.
My Futile Attempt to Report HUSBAND’s Abuse to the Police
37. When I got out of the hospital I went to our jurisdiction’s police station called the XXX to
report the incident. Although there were only male police officers at the station I described to
them in detail how my HUSBAND had beat me so brutally during my pregnancy that I’d
nearly lost my baby. I also told them about all the other incidents when HUSBAND had hurt
me. The police said something like “woman, that is a family affair, go and submit to your
HUSBAND” and refused to investigate or even take down a report. I felt so helpless. If the
police refused to protect me, who would? I also felt very humiliated and alone.
HUSBAND’s Abuse Continues
38. For two months after my release from the hospital, I had to continually return for checkups
and to receive more injections. Then, on XXX, I asked HUSBAND’s nephew XXX who was
staying with us at the time to watch the children so that I could go get my hair done. He
agreed and as I was leaving the house, HUSBAND stopped me and told me that I was not
allowed to leave. He said I needed to stay home to watch the kids instead of getting my hair
done. When I explained that I needed to go to the Salon that day because it was a day off
3
The marriage committee is made up of female and male pastors. Their role is to counsel and guide
couples to prepare for and maintain successful Christian marriages.
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from work HUSBAND said I shouldn’t go to work either. When I tried to walk away
ignoring him, HUSBAND grabbed, slapped me across the face, and threw me to the ground.
My right hand hit the wall as I fell and started bleeding very badly. While I was on the
ground HUSBAND started punching me and saying things like “I will teach you a lesson!
You must learn how to respect me! When your HUSBAND says something you must listen!
You are not ready for marriage.” Eventually, I lost consciousness and was taken to the
hospital by my uncle, E who was called by my friend C who had found me unconscious
when she unwittingly stopped by to visit me. C knew that E was living nearby in XXX at the
time and quickly called for his help. At the hospital they tended to my wounds and they gave
me an IV. After several hours I was released. The same doctor that knew HUSBAND
attended to me, so again, I didn’t tell the hospital staff what happened to me. I still have scar
on my right hand from where it was cut on the wall.
HUSBAND Beats me while I’m Pregnant
39. On XXX. in the morning. HUSBAND woke me up and ordered me to wash his car. I refused
telling him that I couldn’t given my precarious medical state and the fact that I was about
three months pregnant at the time. He proceeded to beat me. At one point, HUSBAND
grabbed my neck and twisted it, slamming my head against the headboard of our bed. I
screamed and tried to stand up but couldn’t because I was too dizzy. HUSBAND rushed out
of the room and I picked up my phone to call the Chairman of the Estate (or housing
association) where we lived. As I was pleading with the Chairman to come and save my life
HUSBAND came back into the room. He tried to grab the phone out of my hands and in the
process, twisted my arm. Eventually he grabbed the phone and stormed out of the house. I
watched his cell phone drop to the floor as he left furious. Then, I picked up the phone and
ran out of the house, dialing Pastor A to tell him what HUSBAND had just done to me but
Pastor A hung up on me.
40. I then ran to Pastor A2’s house to ask for help. He told me to go straight to Pastor A’s home
so that he could see with his own eyes all the bruising and swelling on my face. He said,
maybe then, Pastor A would understand the terrible abuse that I was suffering from. I went to
Pastor A’s house and rang the bell over and over again but he refused to open the door. Then
I returned to A2’s house to tell him that A would not open his door for me. Pastor A2 told me
to wait for Pastor A who would be leaving his house at 7:30am to go to church. I waited at
the gate until A came out to go to church. I told the Pastor “you told HUSBAND to beat me
and look what he’s done to me.”
4
The Pastor asked if I was sure that it was HUSBAND that
had done this to me. I said that I was sure and he promised to discuss this later with
HUSBAND at church.
41. By the time I returned home HUSBAND had left for church services. For the first time, I
called my mother in her village and told her what happened to me. Concerned for my safety,
my mother called my uncle in XXX and instructed him to go immediately to my side in order
4
I was referring to the time when I had complained of HUSBAND’s abuse to the pastor and he made the
comment about me not being the first woman nor the last to be abused by her HUSBAND . I took his
comment as an implicit message to HUSBAND, that he could abuse me if he liked because that is what
HUSBAND s are allowed to do to their wives.
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to protect me from HUSBAND. My uncle, E and my brother, A, and his friend came to my
home and the four of us went together to church. My brother and uncle confronted the Pastor
and asked him to instruct HUSBAND to explain why he’d done this to me. The Pastor tried
to calm them down and assured them that he would look into the matter. My brother, his
friend, and my uncle left.
42. At the end of the church service that day, the marriage committee asked Pastor A to suspend
HUSBAND from the church due to his behavior. Pastor A publicly told the marriage
committee that he would not accept the recommendation. Instead, he advised HUSBAND to
rent his own home where we both could live because according to the Pastor, once
HUSBAND owned our house he could tell me to “shut up” and I would have no choice but to
listen to him. The Pastor insinuated that my financial independence was the cause of our
problems and that if HUSBAND had more control over our financial situation then he could
also properly control me as his wife. I later heard from others that the Pastor even lent
HUSBAND money to rent a house and on March 10
th
I woke up to find HUSBAND gone.
The nanny told me that HUSBAND had left at 6 am in the morning. When I looked around
the house I realized that HUSBAND had packed his things.
Unsuccessfully Seeking Police Protection Again
43. XXXX to report the incident that occurred on XXXX and to let them know that HUSBAND
had disappeared. The policemen made fun of me saying things like, don’t worry about him
“Maybe you are not giving him sex well!” and “oh he’s probably off with someone else
enjoying himself!” I was totally humiliated by the police and decided at that point, that I’d
never return to try to report HUSBAND’s abuse. It was clear to me that the policemen were
more interested in humiliating me, than helping to protect me from my HUSBAND’s abuse.
HUSBAND Attacks my Family in their Village
44. On XXXX I returned home from church to find more than 20 missed calls from my mother. I
thought something awful had happened. I called my mother who explained that HUSBAND
had come to her village to fight everyone there. She told me that HUSBAND called her a
“useless woman” and the “mother of a prostitute” and said that if he hadn’t married me no
one would have. My cousins challenged him and they had a physical altercation before
HUSBAND left the village furious. My mother told me that she was calling to make sure that
I was still alive. Given HUSBAND’s actions in the village, my family imagined that he had
probably already killed me.
HUSBAND Tries to Kidnap our Children
45. The following Wednesday morning, my uncle K appeared at my front door explaining that
the family had sent him to make sure that I was okay. I assured him that I was and left for
work. The next day, XXXX I stepped out of a meeting and turned my cell phone on to call
home to check on my uncle and children. Almost immediately I received a call from police
officer A who said that they had been trying to reach me all morning regarding a child
kidnapping case. The officer ordered me to appear at the police station immediately. In route
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to the station, I called my uncle K to ask him what was going on. My uncle explained that my
HUSBAND appeared at the house that morning (probably thinking that only my nanny
would be home) and entered the house intending to take the children from me. To
HUSBAND’s surprise, my uncle intercepted him and a fight ensued. My uncle was elderly
(over 60 years old) and was very badly injured from the altercation. During the struggle
HUSBAND managed to grab my oldest daughter and ran out of the house. My uncle called
another uncle E and explained what happened. He said that when E heard this, he jumped
onto his motorcycle and started racing towards my house to help. When E ran into
HUSBAND who was stuck in traffic E started screaming something like “child Kidnapper,
child kidnapper!” at my HUSBAND. The traffic officers encircled HUSBAND and took
everyone to the police station where they intended to sort everything out by calling the
child’s mother to identify who was who.
46. When I got to the police station I realized that it was the same station where I had tried to
report HUSBAND’s abuse but was told that it was only a family matter. The officers
recognized me and asked if this was the HUSBAND that I was trying to report before. I
confirmed and the police told HUSBAND that he should try to reconcile things with his wife
and again told me that they could do nothing about the abuse because it was a family matter.
Fortunately, I was allowed to take my daughter home with me that day.
47. The next day HUSBAND started calling me and ordering me to give him our children. I
refused and he continued to call saying that one way or another he would get the children, no
matter where I tried to take them. HUSBAND knew that if he took the children from me it
would be a fate worse than death. My children were all I lived for, and he knew that. I
believe he pursued the children as just another way to punish and control me. He wanted to
take away every source of joy in my life and he knew that our children were the greatest
source of joy I’d ever have. As a result of his threats, I sent my two children with their nanny
and my uncle back to our family’s village that weekend. My uncle E moved into the house
with me in order to make sure that I was safe.
48. On XXX, I went back to the police station with an entire written complaint about my
HUSBAND’s threatening telephone calls. The police accepted it but never did anything to
follow through on my complaints. That same day, HUSBAND went in the afternoon to my
oldest daughter’s school. Fortunately, I had already withdrawn my daughter from school and
explained to the Proprietress that I had to do so in order to protect her from her father. The
Proprietress of the school called me as soon as HUSBAND left and warned me that he’d
been there looking for our daughter. Sympathizing with my difficult situation, the
Proprietress had told HUSBAND only that our daughter did not appear at school that day.
HUSBAND Sends Others to Threaten Me
49. The same week that HUSBAND went to CHILD1 ’s school, I was about to drive to work one
day when I noticed two men who I’d never seen before waiting for me outside the gate that
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surrounded our house. As my uncle opened the gate, the men rushed to the driver’s side of
my car and started threatening me by saying things like, “where are the children? If you don’t
tell us where they are we will kill you!” I screamed for my uncle to help, and when he
appeared the two men ran away. From that point onwards, my uncle escorted me to and from
the office to ensure that no one waiting for me in the streets would harm me during my
commute.
HUSBAND’s Stalkings and False Criminal Charges
50. On several occasions in XXXX, HUSBAND appeared at my house intending to harm me but
my uncle E was able to fight him off. HUSBAND’s telephonic threats continued until one
day in mid-to-late April, I received a note from my boss at work that the police needed me to
appear at XXXXXXXXXXXXXX and answer some questions for the State Criminal
Investigation Department. I remembered then that HUSBAND’s cousin’s HUSBAND,
XXXX, was Deputy Commissioner of Police and I imagined that he may have used those
connections to influence the XXX police.
51. My uncle E accompanied me to the station where the police handed me a criminal allegation.
It was then that I discovered that HUSBAND had hired a lawyer to write a petition to the
police accusing me of kidnapping our children among other things. The police took my
statement and I provided them with a lot of information on how to verify that what I was
saying was the truth. Ultimately, because they considered the situation to be a “family
matter” and because I was also five months pregnant at the time, the police did not lock me
in a jail cell. Still, the police made me stay in the police station all day, threatening me and
saying things like “why don’t you want to respect your HUSBAND? If you don’t we will
lock you away in jail!” They did everything they could to intimidate me into submitting to
my HUSBAND’s demands. I said nothing during the whole time. From 11 am when we
arrived until about 10 pm at nighttime they held me at the station without any food or water.
When they finally let me leave that night, the Police instructed me that I’d have to return on
the XXX with someone who could pay a bail for me.
52. XXXX, I returned to the police station with Pastor U. The police told me that if I wanted to
leave that day I’d have to pay XXXX which I did. The entire time I cried out of fear. The
Police continued to belittle me by saying that I was a “bad wife” who didn’t listen to my
HUSBAND. Finally, Pastor U stood up for me and explained all the incidents of abuse that
he personally witnessed. The police were surprised but finally believed me and let me go.
They asked that I return with the children so that we could sort things out but I never did
because I was afraid that the police would take my children away from me. I explained that I
was going to be traveling for a while but that I’d hired a lawyer and the courts could sort out
our custody over the children. By this time, I had already sold our house because I knew that
if HUSBAND were somehow able to gain legal control of the house then I would be forced
to rely on him financially and he would finally be able to control me as he had always
wanted. I was fortunate to find a buyer who was willing to pay a portion of the sale price
(like a down payment) while allowing me to keep living in the house until December of that
year. I used that money to help pay back part of my mortgage.
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HUSBAND’s Attempts to Discredit Me in My Workplace
53. On XXX my XXX lawyer filed for divorce. It was very difficult to find my HUSBAND so
they were not able to serve him with the divorce papers until May 29
th
. As soon as
HUSBAND received the paperwork he called me screaming. He said that I had no right to
file for divorce. The following Monday, HUSBAND appeared at my office and asked to see
my boss. The receptionist said that my boss was in the office upstairs. Then, HUSBAND
started screaming that he was my HUSBAND and that I was a “worthless wife,” a
“prostitute” and, that I was pregnant with another man’s child. At the time, the bank was full
with more than 300 people including my co-workers, and bank customers who suddenly
stopped and listened to HUSBAND’s ranting. It was so loud that my boss actually heard
HUSBAND yelling from his office upstairs. In order to diffuse the situation, my boss
brought HUSBAND into his office. The receptionist was so scared for me that she called me
shortly thereafter and warned me not to go home that night because she was afraid that my
HUSBAND would kill me.
54. While HUSBAND was with my boss, he told my boss all sorts of lies about me and was so
convincing that my boss became angry at me. My boss later chastised me so harshly that I
drafted my letter of resignation on the spot. When my boss later called me into his office to
find out why I was resigning I explained that I didn’t want to work somewhere where my
boss didn’t believe me. I gave him Pastor A2’s telephone number and the Pastor explained
everything to him. In order to set things straight, my boss invited my HUSBAND back into
the office where my boss explained all that Pastor A2 had told him. Furious, HUSBAND left
the office and went to threaten Pastor A2 for having shared the information with my boss. I
decided not to resign, and from that point on, my boss instructed the bank’s security guards
not to let my HUSBAND into the branch building. Several times after that HUSBAND tried
to get into the bank and was not allowed to enter the building. As an additional precaution,
my boss allowed me to park my car in a hidden parking lot so that my HUSBAND would not
know when I was at work. It also made it easier for the security guards to tell HUSBAND
that I wasn’t there so that he would go away.
HUSBAND’s Manipulation and Deception Continues
55. Given all the shame that my HUSBAND brought upon me and the rumors that circulated
after his public display in the bank, I was transferred to another branch where the workers
were not aware of my HUSBAND’s accusations. Still, HUSBAND continued to call me on
the phone to threaten me. At some point in June, HUSBAND contacted my boss and tricked
him into thinking that he wanted to apologize to me and change his ways. After hearing of
this from my boss, I was hopeful that HUSBAND’s sudden change of heart would allow us
to rebuild our marriage. When HUSBAND arrived at the door that day, I answered it and
allowed him to enter the house. Instead of apologizing he took some of our furniture that he
had purchased with his own money, including our bed. For a while after that I had no bed to
sleep on.
56. On XXX, my maternity leave began and I went to Imo to stay with my family and see my
children. I made sure not to tell anyone who might inform HUSBAND of my whereabouts. I
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had already decided that given all that was happening with HUSBAND, it would be safest for
me to take a vacation for the remainder of my pregnancy. I made arrangements to go to the
United States and XXX. I went to stay with a friend, F, in XXX.
57. XXX, while still in the U.S. on vacation, I received a telephone call from my friend C. C told
me that she’d run into my HUSBAND and according to her, there was nothing that my
HUSBAND did not say. C described to me how HUSBAND insulted her by saying “you are
birds of the same feather” after calling me a “useless girl that was hiding.” HUSBAND told
C to warn me that he would find me anywhere and that he wouldn’t rest until he’d
“permanently harmed” me. HUSBAND also insisted that C tell him where I was. To protect
me, she lied and said she had no idea where I was. Then, according to C, my HUSBAND
said that he knew I had moved from XXX to XXX state. C described how HUSBAND said
“she thinks she will be safe there but I can get her there too!” C was very upset as she
explained this all to me. When our conversation ended, I called my mother and warned her to
take precautions because my HUSBAND might send people to Imo to look for me or worse,
to harm the children. From that point on, my family protected my children by keeping them
inside my brother’s house that was in another part XXX city. My HUSBAND never even
knew about my brother’s house and so long as the girls never went outside the house, we
thought that HUSBAND might never find them.
HUSBAND sends People to Find me in XXX
58. According to my mother, while I was away strange people started appearing at the family
village asking about me. Each time those people came, my family told them that I was living
in XXX even though I was still on vacation in the U.S. My family said that the people
looking for me would always ask when I’d be coming back to the village. My family would
say that they didn’t know because I seldom visited the village. No one in my family ever
recognized any of these strange visitors and everyone was fairly confident that my
HUSBAND was behind all of the inquiries.
My Diminishing Hope for a Better Future
59. Before I left XXX, members of the church marriage counseling committee told me that they
would take the time that I was away to pray and work with HUSBAND so that he would
change. During my time in the U.S., the marriage counsel continued to send me almost daily
text messages on my cell phone saying things like “keep praying and God will touch
HUSBAND.” They were adamant about the fact that through their counseling and my
prayers HUSBAND could change. Their pressure was so great that I started to believe that
HUSBAND was changing. In hindsight, I think I was only able to do this because I wanted to
believe them so badly. I just wanted to have a happy family and so I became very hopeful
that God would touch my HUSBAND and change him for the better. Soon, I started to take
comfort in the idea that I could return to a new HUSBAND and mentally planned to return to
HUSBAND.
60. When our daughter CHILD3 was born on XXXX, I sent HUSBAND an email telling him all
about her birth. Although he never responded, I was convinced that with all the hard work
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that the marriage committee had been doing and the birth of our daughter, HUSBAND would
change. The miracle of CHILD3’s birth after my near miscarriage only reinforced these
feelings. Her survival gave me renewed hope for a better future with her father.
61. Just before I returned to XXX I received an email from Bishop at the church that I had
attended before I met HUSBAND. In the email, Bishop explained that HUSBAND had
appeared at his church with photocopies of my divorce papers telling everyone that I had an
illegitimate child. Bishop XXX offered to help us both through our difficulties by providing
some marriage counseling to us once I returned. I was very receptive to the idea and
considered this to be one more sign that HUSBAND would finally change his ways.
Returning to XXXX
62. On XXX I returned to XXX with my newborn baby. On XXX, I met HUSBAND at Bishop’s
office. For hours the Bishop tried to help us while HUSBAND called me terrible names like
“witch.” The Bishop prayed with us and finally sent us both on our way saying that he was
sure that God would touch HUSBAND. The following day HUSBAND called the Bishop
and said that he had been lying. When I heard this, I thought the change was finally
occurring.
63. The Bishop decided that it was time to start our reconciliation process and I readily agreed.
However, the following day, I received a call from the Bishop who told me that HUSBAND
was now accusing me of having stolen his car. Finally, it became clear to me that no matter
what we tried, HUSBAND, would not change his ways. I had already started to make
arrangements to get travel visas for my children because I was weary of my HUSBAND and
thought that at the very least we should have visas so that we could travel to the U.S. just to
get away from him if need be. When I told the Bishop that I was in the process of getting
tourist visas for my children so that we could escape HUSBAND for a while, he encouraged
me to do so. Finally, the Bishop conceded that he thought HUSBAND would not change in
the short term and he recommended that I take some time apart from HUSBAND and let
things cool down a bit between the two of us. I still held a small hope that a miracle could
change HUSBAND but I knew I needed to get my children away for the short term until I
could figure out if HUSBAND would ever be able to change or what I would have to do next
in my life in order to protect my children. Once we received our visas I decided to take some
time in XXX to wait and see if things with HUSBAND could cool down while I was still in
XXX or if it was necessary for me to travel abroad in order for the the situation to be
diffused.
64. I stayed in my brother’s house in XXX from early November until March. During that time
only my family and two of my closest confidants in the marriage committee knew where I
was living. I stayed inside the house all day long, I wasn’t able to work and it was a horrible
experience for me. I was so used to working and living my own life that the confinement felt
very stifling. I told myself that I would wait until the New Year because I hoped that
HUSBAND would make a New Year’s resolution to be a better HUSBAND and father.
Unfortunately, nothing changed with HUSBAND.
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65. From the very beginning of my stay in XXX, my family told me that strange people were
coming to my mother’s house looking for me. One day I got a strange phone call on my cell
phone from a man who asked if I remembered him. He told me he was a client of mine at the
bank, and that he had gone to my home in XXX and couldn’t find me, then he asked where I
was. I told him I didn’t remember him and he insisted that I should, that he was a client of
mine. I knew that HUSBAND must have put this man up to this. The same thing happened
several other times and each time I refused to disclose my location to the callers.
Another Vacation to the U.S.
66. When the New Year came and HUSBAND still hadn’t changed I decided to take the children
to the U.S. for a while. There at least I thought we could have a break from constantly
worrying that HUSBAND was coming to harm us. XXXXXXXXXX with my children and
went to stay with a family friend in XXX. Each time I spoke to my family in XXX they told
me that HUSBAND continued to send people to harass them. Even my divorce attorney told
me how terribly HUSBAND would act during our divorce hearings. HUSBAND continued
to threaten everyone that as soon as he found me, he’d inflict an injury upon me that I could
never forget. Sometimes, HUSBAND even threatened to kill me. Before my mother came to
the XXXX she told me that HUSBAND appeared at her house several times and threatened
my family by saying things like “you cannot hide her forever. I will find her and kill her!” At
this point I realized that it would not be safe for me to return to XXXX.
Realizing that I Cannot Return to XXXX
67. While I had originally planned to return to XXXX, it seemed like that was an impossibility.
Sometime in mid-May I started looking for an attorney to assist me with my application for
asylum. I knew that re-starting my life in the U.S. would not be easy. I went to a bank and
had an informational interview with them to try to figure out the odds of whether or not I
could eventually re-start my finance career in the U.S. I was told that I’d have to start anew
working as a teller and work my way up. I couldn’t bear the idea so I started considering
other careers. Everyone that I spoke to said that nursing was a relatively easy profession to
start and would allow me to support my daughters so I tried to enroll in nursing school. I
quickly learned that in order to study I would need a student visa and I’d have to complete
many pre requisites. I applied for a student visa at the beginning of XXX. My visa was
approved in July 2010, and I enrolled in classes at XXXX City Community College shortly
thereafter. As an international student, I pay extremely high tuition and my personal savings
have been depleted. I am currently taking Anatomy and Physiology II, Microbiology,
Psychology, and Speech Communication. While my student fees are incredibly expensive I
feel I have no other choice because I need to support my daughters. Around the same time
that I received my student visa, I also found an attorney at the Tahirih Justice Center to
represent me in my request for asylum.
68. In XXX my friend, I, called me to say that HUSBAND came to her church and embarrassed
her by speaking about me so poorly. He told her things like I’d run away with his two
children and one of my children was not even his. He said that he knew she was my friend
and so she had to tell him where I was. I refused and HUSBAND said that he was sure I’d
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left to live with another man. She pled with him to just let me be and warned him that if he
did find me and kill me as he had threatened to do so many times that my family would
retaliate. According to I, HUSBAND told her that he didn’t care about the consequences by
saying something like “I’ll just cross that bridge when I come to it.”
69. If I were forced to return to XXX today I would have no other choice but to return to where
my family is in XXX state, and hide in my brother’s house. I’d have to live a very oppressive
life and I don’t think that I could support my daughters doing so. I have no doubt that
eventually HUSBAND would find me at my brother’s house. If I don’t live in hiding,
HUSBAND is certain to find me. He’s been sending people to try to track me down for some
time now and I don’t think that there is anything that I could do to stop him. HUSBAND has
vowed to “inflict permanent injury” upon me and take everything of any worth away from
me, including our children. I truly believe that he is capable of killing me.
70. I am also afraid that HUSBAND will use his connections within the police force to
continually harass me with false charges as he did before. XXX is a very inter-connected
country; there is no city that I could move to where I would be safe from him. For example if
I moved to XXXX, I would have to work in order to support my three children. It won’t be
long for someone to recognize me, and report back to HUSBAND that I have returned to
XXX. Even passing through the airport in XXX could be dangerous for me, because
someone could recognize me there and alert HUSBAND to my return.
71. HUSBAND is not a reasonable man. In his mind he owns me and always will. He will not
rest until he’s done what he wants to me. He feels that he lost control over me and that is a
sign of “failure” for a HUSBAND in XXX. Other men are calling him a weakling and people
are gossiping about him. In HUSBAND’s mind the only way to reclaim control over me is to
physically subjugate me.
72. I too have been stigmatized by our public divorce. Within my culture and religion divorce is
extremely shameful. I’m not even certain I could find work at this point because the rumors
about our divorce are so widespread.
My Struggles for Safety and a New Life Here
73. Some nights I have terrible nightmares about what HUSBAND did to me while we were
married. Particularly, I dream about what happened on the night of March 8
th
. Sometimes the
events of that night repeat over and over again in my nightmares. Even once I came to the
U.S. I found myself very anxious and often imagined that HUSBAND or his family would
find me and hurt me here. It has taken a long time for me to refocus my nervousness and
anxiety into something productive. Fortunately, concentrating on my studies has allowed me
some relief and I finally feel like I’m starting to move on. I am so hopeful for my future and
my new career. It has not been easy starting from scratch again and this entire experience has
been so humbling for me. Sometimes I find myself crying just thinking about all that I gave
up in XXX to come here and struggle to begin anew.
__________________________________ _______________________
APPLICANT Date
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